Worst Fear
by kirakirakatsu
Summary: Everybody has their worst fear. Even Speed Jr. The problem is, he's depriving himself of sleep just to avoid it, and everybody knows that sleep is a good thing. Even X. Will he figure out what's bothering Speed in time? Or will Speed Jr. go mental?
1. Nightmare

**Disclaim: I do not own Speed Racer: The Next Generation. I did not, would not, and could not now, not EVER make money off of this.**

**Summary: Everybody has their worst fear, the monster in the dark that they keep behind a steel door deep inside their mind... But what is Speed's? And how long can he keep his worst fear locked away? (Set about a week after part 3 of 'the Secrets of the Engine')**

**Author's Note: Greetings people who just happen to be on ! For those of you who read my premiere story, first of all REVIEW IT(!!!!), second of all you will know what I am talking about when I say that Racer V ALWAYS keeps her promises.**

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_It was dark, and cloudy. There was a red haze in the sky. Every tree was dead, and leafless. There was a light fog just barely reaching above my ankles. In the distance, thunder rolled. The storm was getting close. When it was exactly the right moment, it would break loose. It would rain, and this torture would end..._

_...I couldn't bear to see it. I knew that it would grow over the years, but I never guessed that it could get this BIG. I knew that I couldn't handle seeing it... not after all the wonderful things that were FINALLY happening to me..._

_...I tried. I really did. Inside I was telling myself, "NO, SPEED! RUN! GET OUT OF HERE! YOU CAN'T SEE THIS THING AGAIN! I FORBID YOU TO SEE IT!!!" But when was the last time _I_ listened to my own common sense? I tried to channel the one voice that could help me, the one voice of reason that I would SURELY listen to, and that man's voice is EXACTLY what I always thought it would be..._

_...The voice never came. And I knew why. I tried to stop. I tried to run the other way, but I was caught in a fixed path that no one could save me from..._

_Because no one was there._

_That's when I saw it. On the small hill in the middle of the graveyard. And I was right. It HAD grown. When I first saw it, it was just two. Then after my first day at the Academy, two more showed up. After a few days, two more appeared, and what's either better or worse, the names on the first two became clear. On one of them was the name of my hero, my namesake,..._

**_Here lies Speed Racer, Sr.  
Speed Racer, Jr.'s father_**

**_Here lies Trixie Racer  
Speed Racer, Jr.'s mother_**

**_Here lies Spritle Racer  
Speed Racer, Jr.'s uncle_**

**_Here lies X Racer  
Speed Racer, Jr.'s brother_**

**_Here lies Connor  
Speed Racer, Jr.'s mechanic and roommate_**

**_Here lies Lucy  
The girl Speed Racer, Jr. secretly loved_**

_...My dad. My family. My friends. All reduced to names written on tombstones. As usual, this was the part where it became too much. I broke down. Scratch that. I _fell _down. On my knees, my arms holding my stomach, crying. Begging for them to come back. To not leave me here... alone. I looked up as the first drop of sweet, sweet rain fell from the sky..._

I shot up out of bed like a rocket.

I had that horrible dream again.

I had the nightmare again. For the third time in one night. I found it somewhat fortunate that Wilson "Sparky" Sparkolomew hadn't been added to the mix. One more tombstone and I surely would have gone off my nut. I decided that I shouldn't try to go back to sleep. The horrible images of my worst nightmare were fresh in my mind. The only thing that even came close to the pain of all my family and friends being gone forever was that none of those tombstones said anything about how great they were. Not all the sacrifices my dad made just so X and I could be safe. Not how strong my mother was for _letting _dad make those sacrifices. Not how loving an uncle Spritle turned out to be. Not all the times X and I have been there for each other in the past. Not how Connor wasn't _just_ my roommate/mechanic, but how he was also my best friend. And no words in the English language could describe how much I'm in love with Lucy. None of that was even _there_. *sigh* If I'm going to stay awake all night, I might as well get something to eat.

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Well, that plan worked out perfectly, for about three days. By the end of the first week I was exausted. I almost fell asleep in my breakfast. Twice.

"So?"X said.

"So... what?"I replied, looking up from the plate of pancakes I had.

"Are you going to tell me why you look worse that usual today?"

"And what's that supposed to mean?"I said defensivly.

"It's supposed to mean that you havn't been getting enough sleep lately, Speed." Lucy chimed in.

"You're crazy. I've had 8 hours of sleep for the past week!"I lied.

"Tell that to those black circles under your eyes. It lookes like someone drew on your face, Speed."Connor said.

"And you almost _drove off of the driving course _yesterday. The last time you did something like that, you walked into a trap and _I_ had to save your butt."

"Look, guys I'm FINE. There's NOTHING to worry about. Zip. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Nothing's bugging me. Nobody is trying to lure me off campus to steal the Mach 6. Now let me eat my pancakes in peace."_Please_, I added mentally. Nobody said anything after that. I clearly didn't want to talk about it, but I could tell that X was still curious...

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**Author's note: Okay, chapters being longer... check. Please, PLEASE review my story!**


	2. Crash and Burn

**Disclaim: I don't own Speed Racer: The Next Generation.**

**Author's Note: We all know that sleep is a VERY good thing, but poor Speed Jr. hasn't had any in the past week! Can X help?**

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I didn't want to sleep. I couldn't take it. I'd been having this nightmare once almost every month since I was 2. I thought finding my family would put an end to it, but it's only been happening more frequently. Now I can't even shut my eyes without imagining the graves of the people I cared about most. I haven't sleept in over a week. My bed never looked more comfortable, and I was so tired, I was begining to see things. Just then Chim-Chim jumped up on my desk and started speaking his weird robotic-chimpanzee language.

"What do you think, Chim-Chim? Should I risk going to sleep?" I said, trying to humor myself.

"I think you should."For a minute there I thought that Chim-Chim said that, but as I turned around I saw that it was X.

"What do you mean? I don't need any sleep. And even if I did I wouldn't need to _risk _going to sleep. Plus I wasn't talking to you."I said nervously; I didn't want anybody to find out about my worst fear.

"Right. You were talking to the lamp."X said.

"No, I was talking to-"I turned back around to face Chim-Chim when I realized that X was right; my lack of sleep must have caused me to imagine that my lamp was Chim-Chim.

"Speed, ever since dad came back you've been depriving yourself of sleep. What could possibly be bugging you right now?" I could tell that X was concerned, but I didn't want to talk about it.

"Fine. If it'll make you happy, then I'll try to get some sleep tonight." I lied.

"Promise?"

"Promise."So much for that.

"Good. I've really been worried about you, Speed. Get some sleep."

"I will."

That night I saw Sparky's tombstone.

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I woke up at about 7:00 a.m. the day after I promised X I would get some sleep. Ever since the Mid-Winter race he's been breathing down my neck like I'm some sort of glass thing that always needs protecting. I decided to get my mind off of things by going for a drive. Connor was asleep. It was Saturday, which meant I didn't have classes. I thought I would go somewhere high up, like Peakview, so that I could watch the rain. I loved the rain. Rain ment the end of the torture in my nightmare, and in the desert it ment life. Mabye after I saw some rain, I could go for one entire night without my nightmare.

Getting behind the wheel without a week of sleep and only two hours last night was a mistake.

All I heard was the squeel of the breakes and meatal against metal...

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**Author's Note: OH NO! Is this the end of SPEED JR.? Find out next chapter...**


	3. Rain Falling

**Disclaim: Me? Own Speed Racer: The Next Generation? You're funny.**

**Author's Note: When we last left young Speed Jr. he was in a car crash. I know what you're thinking, Speed Racer Jr. is a DRIVING GENIUS!!! HOW COULD HE FALL ASLEEP WHILE DRIVING??????? Well, even driving geniuses need their sleep.**

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I shot up like a rocket.

I had the nightmare again.

This time I fell asleep when I was driving.

"Good. You're awake."

"X?"

"Yeah."

"Where am I?"

"Your garage."

"Where's the Mach 6?"

"Outside, Connor's in the driver's seat. Dad's in the Shooting Star, and Lucy and Spritle are guarding the exits."

"Why?"

"Because I know my brother. Now, are you going to tell me why you've been depriving yourself of sleep? Because it's starting to affect your driving."

"Was anybody hurt?"

"No. You and I were the only ones in the crash. If I wasn't there, you would have hit a tree, and you would've died. I don't want to see you get hurt, Speed."I didn't want to see X get hurt either. I decided to make a break for it. X grabbed me before I even made it to the door.

"Told you. Now tell me why you're doing this to yourself." He let me go, but I didn't notice. X has a way of staring at you until he gets what he wants.

I sat down and pulled my knees to my chest, and, feeling a bit deflated, said, "You. Dad. Mom. Spritle. Connor. Lucy. Even Sparky. Every time I go to sleep, I have this dream, this_ nightmare, _where you're all dead. And I'm not. I'm just sitting there. Alone."

"Every time? That must get annoying."

"It's not just annoying, X. It's torture. I know that it's going to happen eventually. Nobody lives forever. They say dreams come true. Whoever 'They' are left out the part about nightmares. It all started when I was 2. At least I think it did, because that's as far back as I can remember. I would be walking through a graveyard, and in the center of that graveyard would be a small hill. At the top, there would be two tombstones. No names, at the time, they were just marked 'mom' and 'dad'. After my first day here at the Academy, Connor and Lucy's graves were there, too. Then the day we found out we were brothers, you and Spritle were added to the mix, and mom and dad's names were on their graves, for the first time. And now even Sparky's name is there. I've tried to make myself wake up. I've tried so many times..." I might have been crying, I don't remember.

"It's okay, Speed. I would hate to have to see that, too."

"I don't _hate _it, necessarily. I _hate _the fact that they didn't write down how great all of you were. I_ fear _that you're all going to die. I'm _afraid _that I'll be left alone, sitting there. With nothing that I could do to help. And no one to turn to. I would just sit there, until the rain fell, and woke me up from that nightmare."

"Speed... I..." For once, X didn't know what to say. But he did know what to do. Without warning, we shared a brotherly hug. I couldn't believe it. We were _teenage boys._ Long-lost-brothers or not, teenage boys don't hug.

"I will always be there for you, Speed. Even if I'm... dead, because I'll live on in your heart."

"You got that last part from a movie." I said as we broke it up.

"What? I care about you, but I am NOT a sap."

"Yeah, right."

"Whether you're a sap or not, you're right." My dad said as he entered the garage.

"Yeah." Connor walked across the garage and opened the door. Lucy and Spritle fell out.

"What?" Spritle said defensively.

"We were worried." Lucy added.

"Heh, heh. How much did you guys hear?"

"All of it. And I must say that I am not surprised you like the rain so much. If it wasn't for the rain, I don't know if you'd still be here." My dad said.

"What do you mean?"

"When you were born, Captain Terror broke into the house and tried to nab you. Trixie and I split up to give them a bunch of targets. She took X and I took you. I wasn't any more than five miles down the road when it started to rain. I immeadiatly closed the cockpit and activated the belt tires. Those other cars didn't have belt tires, so they crashed. Since then, there hasn't been a day that went by without me thanking the Lord for the rain."

As soon as dad said the word, 'rain', as if on que, the clouds broke. It started to rain.

That night, I slept without my worst fear haunting me for the first time in over a week. I never had it again.

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**Author's note: So, what d'ya think??? Please review. **


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